Tuesday, May 18, 2021
It was time to wake up.
Now I know procrastination isn't the answer, or so they say, but when you're just not feeling inspired to do anything, the last thing you should do is anything if you can help it. Your head isn't in the game, your heart is heavy, mistakes happen, and your resentment from the lack of freedom starts projecting outward into little fits of snippiness. The only solution was to give myself permission to take some time with a hot cup of coffee and a good book out on the balcony. Maybe this, plus the morning sun coming through the trees, would recharge my battery.
Life was beginning to seem new and fresh again as I stepped out into the early air with my new found liberation. I could already feel my energy coming back. I noticed the day looked brighter, the birds were chirping, the sky was clear, and the magnolia tree had a bud on it. A bud that was in absolutely pristine condition. Pure white. It was like a little ray of light delicately propped up in the middle of a sea of thick dark green and gold leaves. A lit candle in the night wouldn't have looked any lovelier. It was so captivating that I just had to run and get my camera.
Now, you'd think by the way I was frantically maneuvering around to collect my equipment, that I was late for a train or something. I asked myself what the rush was, but no answer came. However, the explanation appeared before me just as I stepped through the balcony door. There it was awakening ― the petals were gently unfolding open in a silence that only grace could articulate. It was one of those moments when the surroundings becomes so quiet that you swear you could hear a pin drop on the other side of the world. I wanted to lift my camera and capture the image I was seeing, but I couldn't seem to move. It was like spirit's hand had come up and held me at bay just to give this newborn some space, and to remind me that some moments are for being still. Doing wasn't an option. So, I didn't fight it – I just let its untouched beauty infill me. Finally, the moment came when I felt released to do my thing, which, when you think about it is pretty funny. I really wasn't going to do anything. The life force of this tree had done all that was needed to be done. I was just an innocent bystander hoping to record an event that had opened my eyes to a new found appreciation for divine timing.
As days followed I would often reflect on that moment with this little flower. I recapped on how that morning I wasn't inspired to do anything, and consequently because I didn't fight that notion and had relaxed into it, I, in essence, didn't have to do anything. The Universal Inspiration was all around me just waiting to unfold for me ― literally and figuratively. All I had to do was be at peace and acknowledge Its presence, which I did in my heart and then with my camera.
Journal cover details
Image of a magnolia bloom on a magnolia tree
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